I’m not sure why I’m writing this, or posting this, or what it’s exactly about at this very point. Blogs are supposed to be uplifting and positive right? Social media makes life looks perfect and i’m no exception, i have lied at times. I have bought makeup instead of paying bills and buying food and not ate a real meal in a week but at least i have a cute flatlay for instagram. So today i guess it’s more me getting a little something off my chest and writing to clear my mind, it is my blog of course so i hope that’s okay with you. I’m going to try not to be too much of a negative Nancy or sour, but in all honesty i guess i am.
This time tomorrow i will be a graduate. A Fine Art Photography graduate, so clearly the world is my oyster. After accumulating about £45,000 worth of debt for education you want to come out feeling fulfilled and like that money was well spent on a fantastic course, and truth be told UAL’s amazing rep certainly did not reflect on the course. All of my class mates agree and the fact that together over the three years we have payed over £1 Million for it is crazy because i have gained nothing from it apart from poor mental health (and their services for that are horrific too) So in short steer clear from Camberwell.
I believed university was going to be incredible and life changing but have left feeling terrified, after all we are going to be the first generation worse off than our parents and pensioners are better off than us, so there’s some cheer. I wish i had thought more about what i wanted to do, held off to be sure but the education system pushes you onto the next stage so i felt like i had to go and to be honest, the biggest thing that made me want to go was so i could move out. Not because moving out is exciting but because my “home life” shall we call it was a mess and this was my chance to get away and i wanted to move far far away. So London it was.
Some interesting things that i noticed: Surprisingly Student loan doesn’t even come close to covering rent here so good luck with that, oh and you can’t work because that will affect your grade, and also you should be interning somewhere to get your foot on the ladder so won’t have time to work for actual real money. So yeah, figure that out. I have worked in retail alongside studying all my life and whilst working around 25-30 hours a week still only managed to scrape by financially and scrape by actually getting a degree. A lot of people talk about their pool and their mansion and dinners their parents hosted at said mansion and who was there whilst at art school, and ask questions like why would anyone go to public school i can’t understand it? And their parents give them a lot of money and obviously you’re competing against them and their work so that’s nice. During our degree show preparation my tutor stated that he didn’t want to speak to anyone’s parents unless they were going to build a new wing on the uni (says it all really).
So anyway back to Graduation, tomorrow at 3pm i’m supposed to Graduate, however the one parent i have has never taken any interest in anyone other than themself so of course doesn’t care about graduation, we haven’t talked in over a month anyway but basically i don’t want to turn up by myself and be surrounded by happy families. MISS SOUR OVER HERE! And I’m someone who likes to celebrate achievements and believe me it’s a huge achievement i have managed to get through and now wish i was going so i could wear a Harry Potter robe and pretend to be in Hogwarts and have a cute lil picture of that. So if you’re in the same position as me get a ticket so you can have closure and a little something so you can commemorate the end.
Sorry you have had to read my little breakdown pity party, but i think it’s important to talk about lows as well as the highs in life and it’s nice to know that you’re not alone in these situations.